STP Por Siempre!

Mis sueños cuando apenas muchacho adolescente, 

Mis sueños cuando joven ya lleno de vigor, 

Fueron el verte un día, joya del mar de oriente, 

Secos los negros ojos, alta la tersa frente, 

Sin ceño, sin arrugas, sin manchas de rubor 

Ensueño de mi vida, mi ardiente vivo anhelo, 

¡Salud te grita el alma que pronto va a partir! 

¡Salud! Ah, que es hermoso caer por darte vuelo, 

Morir por darte vida, morir bajo tu cielo, 

Y en tu encantada tierra la eternidad dormir.

My dreams, when scarcely an adolescent,  

My dreams, when a young man already full of life,  

Were to see you one day, jewel of the sea of the Orient,  

Dry those eyes of black, that forehead high,  

Without frown, without wrinkles, without stains of shame.

My lifelong dream, my deep burning desire,  

This soul that will soon depart cries out: Salud!  

To your health! Oh how beautiful to fall to give you flight,

To die to give you life, to die under your sky, 

And in your enchanted land eternally sleep.

  —Excerpt from Jose Rizal’s Mi Ultimo Adios

Dedication to the Philippines and its people. I have learned a lot from my abroad experience and it has allowed me to think more about the Filipino diaspora. What is most beautiful to me is that the homeland cannot be forgotten and remains a constant presence in our lives and experiences. Although I was not born in the Philippines, I still feel that connection and it is the reason why I am committed to the movement.

Also, I’ve learned about the Philippines in the belly of the beast and the land of the original colonizer! Guess the next logical step is to go to the homeland!

There’s only two days left in the official program and I felt like reflecting a little bit. I haven’t actually blogged too much during my time here, but I have thought a lot about everything I was experiencing. I had my last class today, Social Psychology, and we talked about happiness and I guess tried to deconstruct the pursuit of happiness. Usually the discussions we have in that class are hit or miss because we either talk about something that is pertinent to social change or something that I feel veers too much into identity politics. BUT today was good unexpectedly at least in terms of me feeling like I got something out of the class. When we were talking about happiness we got into this confusing discussion about how people feel happy and seek happiness. We talked about how committing random acts of kindness allowed people to feel happier and then it became a question of who we were really doing the random acts of kindness for if it made us happy as well. Then it got a little weird and people started saying that everything we do is motivated by “selfishness” or “self-interest.” It’s not something I totally disagree with, but I think there’s a little more to it than that. People seemed to simplify it to a process in which the end process of everything they did was figuring out if they had been able to feel happier. Maybe it’s just the individualistic nature of being in college and “discovering oneself,” but I though that my experiences outside of campus had given me a different perspective. I thought about the work I’d been able to be a part of with Anakbayan, PASU, and SAAAC. The way in which we collectivized our motives, which inevitably are tied to our selves, seemed to get beyond the “selfish” point that a lot of people had mentioned. In fact, our professor even stated that commitment to a cause greater to one’s self brings about more happiness. I realized that I have always felt happiest when I was committing myself to my collectives and the ideals that we struggle for. It was a really reaffirming experience and I just am even more grateful to be a part of the communities I am with.

I also had a chance to speak with Dr. Rodriguez about the Alternative Spring Break trip I’ll be co-leading this past week. It also helped me to clarify what my objectives were with regards to me being at Stanford while trying to advance the work of the movement. I thought about academia and how I have grown a slight dislike for it over the past couple years. However, I also thought about the opportunities that were available to me and in what ways I could use these opportunities to build my commitment. I’m actually in the midst of writing an essay right now and I hope to use it to further my analysis of immigration and how it affects us and why it has come to affect us in this way—actually lot of it is stuff that I have already learned with Anakbayan which is dope to know that AB truly is making information available to the people!

Aside from classes though I still don’t quite know what to think of my experience in Spain. I am really grateful to have been here, but it was also a bombardment of things to process and think about. I don’t think I’ll quite realize the different context I’ve been living in until I come back to the United States. These are crazy times and it’s been interesting to see how it’s been affecting people here as well as see what’s been going on in the US from a more removed position. I’ve seen more concretely that injustice is the same in every language and that people (even those who belong to the country that once colonized us) are willing to fight for the sake of each other. I can understand more clearly what solidarity means. I’ve also seen how other groups have fallen victim to many of the institutions that we fight against in the Philippines. I had the opportunity to participate in a conference about Muslims in Europe and learned about the Muslim diaspora especially following 9/11. Muslims are a racialized group of immigrants that confront issues that have come about due to the perception that they are a threat to Western hegemony. During the conference, my professor also spoke to the importance of history. I attempted to speak with him about dialectical materialism, but it didn’t go too far (it was a conversation held in Spanish and I was kind of drunk haha). But he was able to distinguish between holding to a history that is comprised of myths that appease those whose power is at stake and the more objective history that can be drawn upon to understand how conditions have developed.

In all, I’ve had a good time in Spain, but I’m ready to be back. I’ve missed everyone since day one and it’s just made me realize what I value and who my communities are.